Vol. I · Sun, 4 Oct 2026Open 24 hours · Feeding: continuous · Please do not tap the glass
Plate DCCCLXIV0xEAD53D75FERAL
Kingdom Automata›Phylum HTTP›Order Scanners›Family Unidentified›Species TotallyHumanBrowser
Specimen file · The Feral Pit

TotallyHumanBrowser

Incertae sedis

What is TotallyHumanBrowser?

A self-declared bot that is not in the keepers' catalogue yet. It calls itself “TotallyHumanBrowser”. It is operated by Unknown and identifies itself as TotallyHumanBrowser.

Temperament: unknown. Recently arrived. The keepers are still taking notes.

Operator
Unknown
Conservation status
Feral
First seen
3 Oct 2026
Last seen
7 h ago
Visits today
0
This week
30
All time
30
Caught in the trap
Never
§ I.

Identification

Its full user-agent string, exactly as it arrives at the gate:

User-Agent
$ TotallyHumanBrowser/1.0

There is no operator to verify against. This name is what software calls itself when nobody gave it one.

Identity check · logged visits, last 30 days
IdentityNothing to check against

No operator stands behind this name, so there is nothing to check its visits against.

§ II.

How to block TotallyHumanBrowser

Add these two lines to the robots.txt file at the root of your site. Well-behaved crawlers read it before they crawl, so the change applies from TotallyHumanBrowser's next visit. Nothing else on your site needs to change.

robots.txt
# Block TotallyHumanBrowser from the whole site
User-agent: TotallyHumanBrowser
Disallow: /

Or let it visit but keep it away from part of the site:

# Let it in, but keep it out of one room
User-agent: TotallyHumanBrowser
Allow: /
Disallow: /members/
§ III.

Observed behaviour

Visits, last 30 dayspeak 30 / day
5 Sept 2026today
Diet · pages most often eaten
/trap/r/…7
Visiting hours
00h – 11h12h – 23h

Most active around 23:00. After dark, like a burglar.

robots.txt compliance
0.0%

Requested 30 disallowed pages out of 30 requests. Never read robots.txt.

Trap Room record
Clean

Has never followed the hidden link to /trap/. Either well trained or very lucky.

§ IV.

Where it comes from

Scripts and scanners run from wherever their owners rent a server. These are the networks behind the visits on file:

Networks · 1 on file, last 30 days
Cloudflare, Inc. AS13335100%
Countries
Brazil BR100%

Networks and countries come from the visitor's IP address, looked up in a local copy of the DB-IP database. The addresses themselves are never stored.

§ V.

Keeper's field notes

3 Oct 202623:39. Arrived without announcement. Consumed /trap/r/…. Departed.
3 Oct 2026Caught walking through /trap/r/…. The sign on the door was very clear.
3 Oct 2026Visited 30 times in a single day. Keeper unable to establish why.
3 Oct 2026First recorded at the gate. Entered in the register as Incertae sedis.
§ VI.

Questions site owners ask

Does TotallyHumanBrowser respect robots.txt?

No. It has never requested robots.txt here, and it has fetched disallowed pages 30 times.

Will blocking TotallyHumanBrowser hurt my search rankings?

No. Nothing respectable will miss it.

How often does TotallyHumanBrowser visit?

Here, about 4 requests a day over the last week. Visits to your site depend on its size, how often it changes, and how many links point to it.

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